The Third Entity of Co-Leaders

My coaching partner and I have just completed an amazing three-day intensive ‘Co-Facilitation’ workshop, delivered through the Center for Right Relationship (CRR).  Besides being a wonderful weekend where we were immersed in the stuff of coaching and relationships (which we love), we had fabulous learning around our strengths and abilities as co-leaders, or co-facilitators, of the coaching programs and workshops we deliver together.

Since we had completed CRR’s Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching program in 2007, we were already aware of the concept of the “Third Entity,”  which can be described as the voice of a “system.”  The relationship between my partner and me is a separate entity in and of itself, and has its own needs and voice.  The key in Relationship and Systems Coaching is to tune into the voice of the Third Entity.

This workshop focused on training our Third Entity, and using what we learned in the delivery of a brief presentation to the other participants using a specific experiential learning model (which I think is a fantastic model).  Boy, did we learn a lot!  Concepts such as completing each other’s thoughts, showing a united front, casting spells, using roles of ‘teacher’, ‘colleague’ and ’starwalker’, and how to handle ’yellow balls’ & ’sceamers’ (learnings you want in the room & unexpected questions or comments) kept us on our toes (and kept me exhausted!).  The weekend was truly magical and empowering.

Our Third Entity was encouraged to bring out more playfulness, be more provocative, and ’sparkle’ more. It is very exciting for us work on ‘being’ more this way and add these elements into our delivery.  I think this will allow us to provide even more impactful programs and workshops.

A Coaching Moment:

• What are the qualities of your and your partner’s (or team members’) Third Entity?
• What qualities are wanting to be allowed to shine even more?
• How could you encourage your partner and/or other team members to take a look at how your Third Entity could be even more powerful?

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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your partner(s) or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a free sample session.

Warmly,
Jennifer

Fun at Relationship Retreat in Muskoka

My husband and I have just returned from a fun Relationship Retreat in beautiful Muskoka (Ontario).  We joined another couple and our two facilitators, Jennifer & Sharon, to spend the weekend fully focused on our relationship and building on the fire and passion that already exists in our relationship (we’ve been married just over a year, after all!).

We came away from the weekend with more clarity around how we want to BE together, what core values we hold as a couple, a vision for our future together and an action plan to move toward goals that we have set for our relationship.  I think its a great way to start off a relationship, and a great way for any couple to re-connect at any point in their relationship.

As a Relationship Coach, I was familiar with some of the tools that Jennifer & Sharon used during the Retreat. There was still new learning for me as it provided a very special time for my husband and I to reconnect with each other and with what is most important to us as a couple.  Getting away from the hustle and bustle of our usually hectic pace of life was a joy, indeed, and I let Jennifer & Sharon know that we would love to return on an annual basis for a refresher. It would be a wonderful way to celebrate each wedding anniversary!

• When was the last time you were able to sit down with your partner and talk about how to create the best relationship ever?
• How do you articulate what’s working and what’s not working when you are relating to each other (that is, how you are BEING with each other)?
• When did you last discuss your dreams for your future?

A Relationship Wheel is a great tool that you can use to get the discussion started! You and your partner can each complete a wheel on your own (see My Favourite Resources), and then share your answers to the following questions with each other:

1. On a scale of 1 to 10, how fulfilled am I, currently, in each focus area?
2. What would a fulfilled relationship look like for me in each focus area?
3. What would it take to become more fulfilled in each focus area? What could I do to raise my score?

Once you’ve shared your answers with each other, try standing in your partner’s shoes. Imagine what your relationship looks like from your partner’s perspective. What’s new for each you from this place?

I encourage you to check out Jennifer & Sharon’s site at Retreat 2 Muskoka for more information about their retreat offerings.

If you are curious about what Relationship Coaching could do for you and your partner, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a free sample session.

Warmly,
Jennifer

Fun Time with The Power of Leveraging Your Relationships

On April 16, 2008, my coaching colleague, Jennifer Britton and I delivered a workshop called The Power of Leveraging Your Relationships for the Greater Toronto Chapter of the International Coach Federation (ICF-GTA) in Toronto, Ontario.

We had a great time and had lots of positive feedback about a tool we used called a MetaSkills Wheel, which was developed and is a trademarked product of the Center for Right Relationship (CRR).

When we spend time consciously reviewing and evaluating the relationships we are in, both our personal and business lives, we discover that each relationship has its own power. Discovering and tapping into this power is the point of Relationship Coaching.

A MetaSkill is defined by CRR as a “philosophy, attitude or intention someone brings to a situation. It is an intentional stance from which a situation or event is viewed. It is using that intentional stance as a gateway through which to enter consideration of a person, event or situation. It is the atmosphere that shapes the ‘who’ that will engage… It is the spiritual art of relationship.”

The tool provides a way to view a particular relationship through a specific lens. In this particular exercise, we named seven ’intentional stances,’ which were Respect, Collaboration/Partnership, Commitment, Playfulness, Inquiry/Awareness, Deep Democracy and Heart.

If you were to look through the lens of each of these ‘intentional stances’ at an important relationship in your life, what would you notice?  What might be new for you about your relationship?

If you are curious and would like more information about Relationship Coaching, please drop me a line at trilogy@pathcom.com.

Warmly,
Jennifer