Honouring my Dad

This is a different post from my usual “business” focus, but its in my heart at the moment and is about relationships.

My father recently passed away, and I had the honour and privilege of sharing a very difficult time with my close-knit family. We surpassed my best expectations by making some difficult decisions together with dignity and respect for everyone involved.  Dad would have been very proud!

Perhaps my interest and skills in developing and maintaining relationships came from Dad; we were somewhat astounded as more than 200 people showed up for his memorial service. Dad had obviously made a positive impact on a lot of people in his all-too-short life.  All of Dad’s immediate family was together – including his 4 sisters and almost all of his nieces and nephews (there were others who would have come if they lived closer).  People flew in from several locations across North America.  It was truly moving.

I am most proud of my mom and siblings.  We had some tough decisions to make and we were fully caring and supportive of each other through all of those.  Each of us experienced wonderful concern and support from our many extended family and friends.

So, in loving memory of my Dad:

“And when a man looks at a bird or feels the wind on his face, we should want him to tell us, if telling is his job, not only what he sees but how it affects him, in calm or in pleasantness or in ecstasy, so that we may nod in understanding and go about our business, however grim, with greater heart.”
- Neil Gunn, Highlands writer, Memories of the Months, 1941

Miss you, Dad!

Gratitude

Today is Thanksgiving Day in Canada.  Even in this turbulent economic time, I feel that I have a great deal to be thankful for.

As I have read the news over the past few weeks (albeit sporadically – it’s not something I do every day), I am grateful that I am Canadian.  The Canadian economy is experiencing a downturn, along with the rest of the world - but we are not being as severely affected as our American neighbors.  Canadians also have a federal election tomorrow – but our issues, although important to us, do not seem to be quite as divisive as what our American neighbors are facing.  So, being a Canadian is a good thing!

Something that caught my eye in the newspaper this weekend was a special section on “Gratitude.”  There were ideas on strategies for expressing gratitude - keeping a gratitude journal, regularly contemplating the things we are grateful for, trying a mix of methods, and even expressing gratitude directly (imagine!) to someone to whom we owe a debt of gratitude.  (The ideas specifically described in the article come from The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Wantby Sonja Lyubomirsky.)  One article was a compilation of readers’ answers responses about what they were thankful for, and the following was particularly touching:

“I am thankful for the many scars on my body, my badges of honour from battling breast cancer twice in my 36 years of life. I am thankful for the taste of coffee, for hugging my boys and for freezing in a hockey arena – things I was once too weak to enjoy.” – Tina

October is the Canadian Cancer Society’s Breast Cancer Awareness month, and my sister recently completed the 60-km “Run for the Cure” in Toronto (she has a wonderful story of her own to tell).  I am grateful that all of my family is healthy.

I am also grateful to have been able to celebrate Thanksgiving with much of my family this weekend, and to have had a lovely visit with my daughter and some close friends last weekend. I am grateful for the wonderful food (that I didn’t have to cook), especially turkey and pumpkin pie (and I am grateful that I snagged some leftovers of each!).

I am grateful for the fabulous weather we are having this weekend and some quiet time together with my husband.

There are innumerable things – large and small - to be grateful for.  It doesn’t matter which you choose, it just matters that you DO choose to be grateful for what you have and that you acknowledge it.

If you don’t routinely express gratitude in your life – why not try it?!  One of the articles I read cited research conducted by Sonja Lyubomirsky in which one group was told to keep a gratitude journal in which they regularly jotted down the things they were grateful for. Another group was told to write down daily hassles and annoyances. Not surprisingly, the result was that members of the first group were happier and more optimistic - AND - they spent more time exercising and reported feeling healthier!

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A Coaching Moment:

·     What are you grateful for this season?

·     How do you express your gratitude? – and is it often enough for you?

·     If there is something that you would like more of, consider how expressing gratitude might increase your chances of getting more.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Warmly,
Jennifer

 

If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your spouse, partner(s) or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a free sample session.

What I did on my summer vacation…

Do they still have the kids write a story about their summer vacations at school?  I’ll have to ask my step-kids when I see them this week!

My husband and I had a ‘relationship-filled’ summer this year… not with each other, either!  It really does seem that no matter what I do, my life revolves around family – of all kinds!

July was Chris’ turn to spend a couple of weeks with the kids and many members of his family – an ‘all-inclusive’ week at a cottage with the kids, his parents, and his niece and nephew. The kids had a blast tubing and swimming and fishing; they raved about the food, which was provided by the camp.  I was able to get away on my own for a few relaxing days with a girlfriend – aaaahhhhh.

When Chris and the kids returned from the cottage, they had several more days with Chris’ aunt and his niece, visiting Wonderland, shopping, swimming, golfing – basic summer fun!  Throughout that time, we had several houseguests, staying for varied periods of time, sometimes overlapping so some had to sleep on the floor.

While the boys went off for 2 weeks at Camp Muskoka, Chris, my step-daughter and I spent a weekend with MY family at a cousins’ cottage weekend in Muskoka. One of our favourite parts of the weekend was dressing up for dinner – all of us picking our favourite decade and dressing the part.

The month of July felt really busy with not much of a break from a lot of activity. But we both love spending time with family, so wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

Two weeks later at the beginning of August, I started my vacation.  Five of us traveled to New York and Pennsylvania for an annual family reunion; the kids always love this weekend because they enjoy the pool at the hotel so much! This year, the reunion was held at Midway State Park, where the kids spent a great deal of time in an arcade!

Once we returned home, Chris and I prepared for our big adventure to the Canadian North. My daughter, Sarah, lives with her partner (also Chris) in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories. For those of you who don’t know where that is, its fairly far north – the territory is north of Alberta – and Yellowknife is only about 300 miles south of the Artic Circle.

Chris and I decided to travel via Ottawa to Iqaluit (capital city of Canada’s newest territory, Nunavut) and Rankin Inlet to Yellowknife. When we arrived in Iqaluit, it was only 6 degrees (which is only a bit above freezing), but it was clear and sunny.  Sea ice had blown into the bay during a storm a month earlier, but no storm had come through to blow it out again and Frobisher Bay is cold enough to keep the ice frozen.

When we arrived in Yellowknife later that same evening, it was about 25 degrees, and that weekend, Yellowknife was the warmest location in the country – 30 plus degrees!! Pretty extraordinary weather for that part of the country.

We had a great visit with Sarah and Chris (cherished time, since we only see them about 4 times a year) and met their two puppies.  We spent time boating, swimming, checking out the city (another territory capital – but small by ‘big city’ standards – only 20,000 people), sleeping in, watching the Olympics, and eating different foods (buffalo, caribou, artic char).  One of my favourites days was spent traveling a bit north of the city to Cameron Falls, which is a 20 minute trek up rocks to a lovely waterfall between Upper and Lower Cameron River.  It was a gorgeous sunny day and we were out in nature – perfect!

All in all, Chris and I traveled through 6 airports on that trip.  I had arranged a family brunch in Ottawa for the last day of our holiday. It was great to see more family that we hadn’t seen for quite a while (its been over a year since I’d seen most of them), as well as Sarah’s Chris’ parents.  (Sarah & Chris have been together long enough for his parents to be considered her in-laws.  Its a bit complicated, but we visited with my first husband’s family, Sarah’s in-laws, and my husband’s sister’s family… don’t try to figure it out!)

So, a successful and satisfying summer (not to mention busy!). The family theme continues even now – Chris is in Vancouver with his dad visiting aunts & an uncle, Sarah will be here for visit in 4 weeks, and then it will be Thanksgiving, which always means figuring out which family dinner is on which day!

Love it, and wouldn’t change a thing!!

Visiting with Sarah in Yellowknife, NWT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Coaching Moment:

• What do you cherish about your family?

• What one step could you take this week to re-connect with someone you haven’t seen or spoken with for a while?

• Are there holiday plans you want to start making now?

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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your family, partner(s) or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a free sample session.

Warmly,
Jennifer