Posts filed under 'Coaching'
The Third Dysfunction: Lack of Commitment
Happy New Year! I know its been a while since I’ve posted, and I wanted to acknowlege that this is my first communication to you this year! Wishing you a happy, healthy & prosperous 2009!
In this blog, I continue to comment on Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, which book outlines a model of teamwork for organizations, and discusses five typical ‘dysfunctions’ of a team which need to be addressed and solved in order for a team to successfully work its magic. The first dysfunction was Absence of Trust and the second dysfunction was Fear of Conflict, which I discussed in my previous post, Can your ‘Bad Boss’ Really Kill You? The Second Dysfunction of a Team.
The Third Dysfunction – Lack of Commitment – is the failure of team members to buy into a decision, i.e. committing to a plan or a decision, and failing to get everyone on the team to clearly buy into it. The evidence of the existence of this dysfunction is ambiguity.
Lencioni feels it is important to have discussions or debate (often passionate!) and therefore, possibly conflict when an idea or plan is tabled. When team members don’t speak up, express their opinions, or ask their questions, they don’t feel like they’ve been heard, and they won’t really come on board with the decision, although they may feign agreement in meetings.
I wonder how this might show up in your personal relationships?!
Lencioni is clear that its not about consensus. “…most reasonable people don’t have to get their way in a discussion. They just need to be heard, and to know that their input was considered and responded to.”
If the previous dysfunction, Fear of Conflict, is not addressed and handled, it will be virtually impossible for a team to get past Lack of Commitment. If team members are afraid to air their views, they will rarely buy in and commit to decisions. Members of a truly cohesive team will trust one another, engage in unfiltered conflict (healthy debate) around ideas, and commit to decisions and plans of action that are good for the team or organization as a whole.
For the team assessment (mentioned in my first post about the book), score your team - on a scale of 1 to 3 (1=Rarely, 2=Sometimes, 3=Usually) – on the following statements relating to the dysfunction of Lack of Commitment:
1. Team members know what their peers are working on and how they contribute to the collective good of the team.
2. Team members leave meetings confident that their peers are completely committed to the decisions that were agreed on, even if there was initial disagreement.
3. Team members end discussions with clear and specific resolutions and calls to action.
What’s your total score? The scoring system is described in my previous post regarding Absence of Trust.
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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your business partnership or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a complimentary sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
Add comment January 12, 2009
Can your ‘Bad Boss’ Really Kill You? The Second Dysfunction of a Team
An article in our national paper today (The Globe and Mail, November 25, 2008) entitled “Are bad bosses killing you?” states that, in addition to being annoying, bad bosses “may also boost the chance of heart attacks.” According to the article, a Swedish study of male workers published in the Occupational and Environmental Medicine journal (released November 24, 2008), found that having an incompetent manager may increase the risk of developing heart disease by 50 percent. And there’s more: The study found that the risk of heart-disease grows the longer a worker stays with the same company.
Just what makes a ‘bad boss’? We all have our own version, I’m sure – there are bosses who are inconsiderate, who bully, who show no acknowledgement of, or appreciation for, the time and energy that we put into our jobs, or who can’t or won’t clearly define how our efforts contribute to the team or to the company as a whole. The end result is stress for the employee, which can lead to a whole range of ailments, including heart disease. In this economy, if employees don’t feel supported by an HR team, they may feel stuck and unable to make the choice to leave their job.
I’m even more strongly struck by the model in Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, which clearly sets out strategies for a ‘good boss’. The book outlines a model of teamwork for organizations, and discusses five typical ‘dysfunctions’ of a team which need to be addressed and solved in order for a team to successfully work its magic.
The first dysfunction was Absence of Trust, which I touched on in my previous post The Power of “Team” in Business – The First Dysfunction. The second dysfunction is Fear of Conflict. Interestingly, this exact issue came up in a discussion I had over lunch just yesterday with a colleague. Something had happened in a meeting and the manager, who is clearly uncomfortable with conflict, was unable to address the issue right away. This resulted in ongoing upset for her direct report. Teams that lack trust are unwilling to engage in unfiltered and passionate (and healthy!) debates of ideas and instead, resort to veiled discussions and guarded comments, creating an air of artificial harmony.
How does your team handle conflict or disagreement among the members?
What structure, information and support is in place to help your team members or employees deal with conflict and the resulting stress?
For the team assessment (first mentioned in my previous post), score your team - on a scale of 1 to 3 (1=Rarely, 2=Sometimes, 3=Usually) – on the following statements relating to the dysfunction of Fear of Conflict:
1. Team members are passionate and unguarded in their discussion of issues.
2. Team meetings are compelling, and not boring.
3. During team meetings, the most important – and difficult – issues are put on the table to be resolved.
What’s your total score?
The scoring system works like this:
A score of 8 or 9 is a probable indication that the dysfunction is not a problem for your team.
A score of 6 or 7 indicates that the dysfunction could be a problem.
A score of 3 to 5 is probably an indication that the dysfunction needs to be addressed.
Even if your team’s score is a 9, its important to remember that every team needs constant work; without it, even the best teams may deviate toward dysfunction.
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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your business partnership or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a complimentary sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
Add comment November 25, 2008
The Power of “Team” in Business – The First Dysfunction
As I begin to position my coaching practice more into the business world, I am considering what message I really want to get across to the teams that I work with.
How many companies really embrace the notion of teamwork over individual performance? I believe that a team of individuals who work well together can outperform the effort of the collective group of individuals - that is, the synergy of teamwork creates even better results than the collection of individuals possibly could.
I’m currently reading The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni, which outlines a model of teamwork for organizations. Business teams would be well served to take a look at how they function (as a team) in the following areas:
- Do the team members trust each other?
- How does the team handle conflict or disagreement among the members?
- Has the team created goals for the team as a whole, and how committed is each member to common team goals?
- How accountable is each team member to achieving the common team goals?
- How much attention does the team pay to the overall results of the team as a whole?
I thought I’d look at each ‘dysfunction’ in a separate post; the first is Absence of Trust. The book provides a simple team assessment - on a scale of 1 to 3 (1=Rarely, 2=Sometimes, 3=Usually), how would you score your team on the following statements?
1. Team members quickly and genuinely apologize to one another when they say or do something inappropriate or possibly damaging to the team.
2. Team members openly admit their weaknesses and mistakes.
3. Team members know about one another’s personal lives and are comfortable discussing them.
What’s your total score?
I’ll come back to discuss each of the dysfunctions further, and let you know what the scoring system says about your scores. Gives you something to think about in the meantime!
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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your business partnership or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a complimentary sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
1 comment October 28, 2008
Listen on-line to the Conscious Life Radio Show – Today September 10th
Listen on-line today while one of my Wake Up Women co-authors, Christina South, and her co-host, Deborah Busch, interview me about The Power of Conscious and Intentional Relationships. I’ll talk about how raising your awareness about what’s really going on in your relationship and being intentional about how you’re being in your relationship can create powerful positive changes.
Click on the link (in column to the right) to Conscious Life Radio and tune in at 5:00pm Eastern. I’ll post the audio of the program once its available - I’d love to hear what you think! (There are several other great interviews there already – check them out!)
Warmly,
Jennifer
1 comment September 10, 2008
Five Magic Hours That Could Save Your Marriage
Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D., is a psychologist and leading US relationship expert who has conducted studies of thousands of couples at his “Love Lab” at The Gottman Institute in Seattle for over 30 years. One of the ‘bibles’ for Relationship Coaches is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, co-authored by Dr. Gottman and Nan Silver.
In this book, Dr. Gottman describes a follow up study of couples who had previously attended workshops with The Gottman Institute, in which the researchers looked for what might distinguish couples whose marriages continued to improve from those whose marriages did not. They were surprised to find that couples whose relationships continued to be strong were devoting only an extra five hours a week to their marriages. Gottman calls these The Magic Five Hours.
Gottman found that these small, but important, steps when done consistently will improve and strengthen your relationship. At the end of the week, the total time for these steps is approximately five hours (that’s less than one hour a day to spend on your relationship!).
Partings—when you part in the morning make sure you’ve learned about one thing happening in your partner’s day. Estimated time: 2 minutes per day x 5 working days, totals 10 minutes per week
Reunions— Spend 20 minutes at the end of each workday to reconnect and talk about your day. Such a conversation with reduce your stress at the end of the day. Estimated time: 20 minutes per day x 5 working days, totals 1 hour, 40 minutes per week
Admiration and Appreciation—Find some way every day to communicate genuine affection and appreciation toward your partner. Estimated time: 5 minutes per day x 7 days, totals 35 minutes per week
Affection—Kiss, hold, grab and touch each other while you’re together – be playful with each other. Make sure to kiss each other before going to sleep. A kiss can be a way to let go of any minor irritations that may have built up over the day. Estimated time: 5 minutes per day x 7 days, totals 35 minutes per week
Weekly Date—Take at least two hours every week to stay connected in a low-pressure way. Use the time to talk to get to know each other even more, update each other about important issues, go out on a date, and enjoy being together. You can also use the time to work through any arguments or issues that may have come up. Estimated time: 2 hours per week
This minimal amount of time spent regularly could go a long way in keeping your marriage on track!
A Coaching Moment:
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What has to change in your daily routine to make an extra 5 hours for each other (and for your marriage) over the course of a week?
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What would be some fun things to do together?
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What do you want more of from your spouse, and your relationship?
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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your spouse, or partner(s) or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a free sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
6 comments August 24, 2008
The Third Entity of Co-Leaders
My coaching partner and I have just completed an amazing three-day intensive ‘Co-Facilitation’ workshop, delivered through the Center for Right Relationship (CRR). Besides being a wonderful weekend where we were immersed in the stuff of coaching and relationships (which we love), we had fabulous learning around our strengths and abilities as co-leaders, or co-facilitators, of the coaching programs and workshops we deliver together.
Since we had completed CRR’s Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching program in 2007, we were already aware of the concept of the “Third Entity,” which can be described as the voice of a “system.” The relationship between my partner and me is a separate entity in and of itself, and has its own needs and voice. The key in Relationship and Systems Coaching is to tune into the voice of the Third Entity.
This workshop focused on training our Third Entity, and using what we learned in the delivery of a brief presentation to the other participants using a specific experiential learning model (which I think is a fantastic model). Boy, did we learn a lot! Concepts such as completing each other’s thoughts, showing a united front, casting spells, using roles of ‘teacher’, ‘colleague’ and ’starwalker’, and how to handle ’yellow balls’ & ’sceamers’ (learnings you want in the room & unexpected questions or comments) kept us on our toes (and kept me exhausted!). The weekend was truly magical and empowering.
Our Third Entity was encouraged to bring out more playfulness, be more provocative, and ’sparkle’ more. It is very exciting for us work on ‘being’ more this way and add these elements into our delivery. I think this will allow us to provide even more impactful programs and workshops.
A Coaching Moment:
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What are the qualities of your and your partner’s (or team members’) Third Entity?
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What qualities are wanting to be allowed to shine even more?
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How could you encourage your partner and/or other team members to take a look at how your Third Entity could be even more powerful?
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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your partner(s) or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a free sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
Add comment July 28, 2008
Fun at Relationship Retreat in Muskoka
My husband and I have just returned from a fun Relationship Retreat in beautiful Muskoka (Ontario). We joined another couple and our two facilitators, Jennifer & Sharon, to spend the weekend fully focused on our relationship and building on the fire and passion that already exists in our relationship (we’ve been married just over a year, after all!).
We came away from the weekend with more clarity around how we want to BE together, what core values we hold as a couple, a vision for our future together and an action plan to move toward goals that we have set for our relationship. I think its a great way to start off a relationship, and a great way for any couple to re-connect at any point in their relationship.
As a Relationship Coach, I was familiar with some of the tools that Jennifer & Sharon used during the Retreat. There was still new learning for me as it provided a very special time for my husband and I to reconnect with each other and with what is most important to us as a couple. Getting away from the hustle and bustle of our usually hectic pace of life was a joy, indeed, and I let Jennifer & Sharon know that we would love to return on an annual basis for a refresher. It would be a wonderful way to celebrate each wedding anniversary!
- When was the last time you were able to sit down with your partner and talk about how to create the best relationship ever?
- How do you articulate what’s working and what’s not working when you are relating to each other (that is, how you are BEING with each other)?
- When did you last discuss your dreams for your future?
A Relationship Wheel is a great tool that you can use to get the discussion started! You and your partner can each complete a wheel on your own (see My Favourite Resources), and then share your answers to the following questions with each other:
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how fulfilled am I, currently, in each focus area?
- What would a fulfilled relationship look like for me in each focus area?
- What would it take to become more fulfilled in each focus area? What could I do to raise my score?
Once you’ve shared your answers with each other, try standing in your partner’s shoes. Imagine what your relationship looks like from your partner’s perspective. What’s new for each you from this place?
I encourage you to check out Jennifer & Sharon’s site at Retreat 2 Muskoka for more information about their retreat offerings.
If you are curious about what Relationship Coaching could do for you and your partner, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a free sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
Add comment June 2, 2008
