Honouring my Dad

This is a different post from my usual “business” focus, but its in my heart at the moment and is about relationships.

My father recently passed away, and I had the honour and privilege of sharing a very difficult time with my close-knit family. We surpassed my best expectations by making some difficult decisions together with dignity and respect for everyone involved.  Dad would have been very proud!

Perhaps my interest and skills in developing and maintaining relationships came from Dad; we were somewhat astounded as more than 200 people showed up for his memorial service. Dad had obviously made a positive impact on a lot of people in his all-too-short life.  All of Dad’s immediate family was together – including his 4 sisters and almost all of his nieces and nephews (there were others who would have come if they lived closer).  People flew in from several locations across North America.  It was truly moving.

I am most proud of my mom and siblings.  We had some tough decisions to make and we were fully caring and supportive of each other through all of those.  Each of us experienced wonderful concern and support from our many extended family and friends.

So, in loving memory of my Dad:

“And when a man looks at a bird or feels the wind on his face, we should want him to tell us, if telling is his job, not only what he sees but how it affects him, in calm or in pleasantness or in ecstasy, so that we may nod in understanding and go about our business, however grim, with greater heart.”
- Neil Gunn, Highlands writer, Memories of the Months, 1941

Miss you, Dad!

The Third Dysfunction: Lack of Commitment

Happy New Year!  I know its been a while since I’ve posted, and I wanted to acknowlege that this is my first communication to you this year!  Wishing you a happy, healthy & prosperous 2009!

 

In this blog, I continue to comment on Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, which book outlines a model of teamwork for organizations, and discusses five typical ‘dysfunctions’ of a team which need to be addressed and solved in order for a team to successfully work its magic.  The first dysfunction was Absence of Trust and the second dysfunction was Fear of Conflict, which I discussed in my previous post, Can your ‘Bad Boss’ Really Kill You? The Second Dysfunction of a Team.

 

The Third Dysfunction – Lack of Commitment – is the failure of team members to buy into a decision, i.e. committing to a plan or a decision, and failing to get everyone on the team to clearly buy into it.  The evidence of the existence of this dysfunction is ambiguity.

 

Lencioni feels it is important to have discussions or debate (often passionate!) and therefore, possibly conflict when an idea or plan is tabled.  When team members don’t speak up, express their opinions, or ask their questions, they don’t feel like they’ve been heard, and they won’t really come on board with the decision, although they may feign agreement in meetings.

 

I wonder how this might show up in your personal relationships?!

 

Lencioni is clear that its not about consensus.  “…most reasonable people don’t have to get their way in a discussion. They just need to be heard, and to know that their input was considered and responded to.”

 

If the previous dysfunction, Fear of Conflict, is not addressed and handled, it will be virtually impossible for a team to get past Lack of Commitment.  If team members are afraid to air their views, they will rarely buy in and commit to decisions.  Members of a truly cohesive team will trust one another, engage in unfiltered conflict (healthy debate) around ideas, and commit to decisions and plans of action that are good for the team or organization as a whole.

 

For the team assessment (mentioned in my first post about the book), score your team - on a scale of 1 to 3 (1=Rarely, 2=Sometimes, 3=Usually) – on the following statements relating to the dysfunction of Lack of Commitment:

 

1.  Team members know what their peers are working on and how they contribute to the collective good of the team.

2.  Team members leave meetings confident that their peers are completely committed to the decisions that were agreed on, even if there was initial disagreement.

3.  Team members end discussions with clear and specific resolutions and calls to action.

 

What’s your total score?  The scoring system is described in my previous post regarding Absence of Trust.

 

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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your business partnership or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a complimentary sample session.

Warmly,
Jennifer