I’m Curious about the Relationship between Obama and Harper
I spent much of today watching our Canadian news coverage of the visit by President Barack Obama to our nation’s capital to spend some time with our Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. By most accounts, the visit was a success – certainly in terms of PR! I am very taken with the new US President (as many of us in Canada are); he seems very ‘real’, down to earth, and very personable. We loved that he chose Canada for his first visit as President, and a moment that I believe spoke volumes about the man I expect him to be was when he made a point of acknowledging the crowd that had gathered and waited (quite a while, in the cold) for him to arrive.
I am curious about how the relationship that is developing between our two leaders (and their respective teams) fits in with the model that I’ve been reviewing, from Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a Team.
Trust: This seems to me to truly be the basis of everything, and I think that’s the message from the model. If these two leaders don’t feel that they can trust each other (as has happened between some of our respective leaders in the past), we would end up with politicians unwilling to open up to each other about what’s important to them, and it seems unlikely that anything productive will ever happen.
Conflict: There’s bound to be conflict on some common issues, and our leaders have to be willing to put the issues and their thoughts about them on the table for discussion and debate. Otherwise, we’ll end up listening to veiled discussions and guarded comments. How refreshing it would be to have leaders who are willing to genuinely engage each other and discuss important issues without partisan politics!
Commitment: Each leader has to be able to rely on the other to be committed to an agreed-upon solution. One of the strongest points that came out of today’s meetings is that both leaders are wholly committed to the security of both countries; Canada is not less committed to the fight against terrorism than the US. I’m certain that both leaders will be wholly committed to a solution once they’ve fully discussed the issues.
I’ll discuss the fourth dysfunction, Avoidance of Accountability, in more detail in my next post, but for purposes of this discussion, we might see an avoidance of accountability if President Obama and Prime Minister Harper move forward without real commitment and buy-in to solutions. If they are able to achieve clarity and buy-in, they will each be in a better position to hold the other accountable for their actions.
Finally, the fifth dysfunction is Inattention to Results. It seems obvious that without accountability, the results don’t really matter. If individual needs become a priority over the collective goals of the team (our countries together, in this case), our leaders won’t really be paying attention to what’s going on over border.
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A Coaching Moment:
- What kind of ‘team’ do you think our leaders are creating?
- Where will they be challenged?
- What will be easy for them?
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Are you curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your business partnership or team? Send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a complimentary sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
Honouring my Dad
This is a different post from my usual “business” focus, but its in my heart at the moment and is about relationships.
My father recently passed away, and I had the honour and privilege of sharing a very difficult time with my close-knit family. We surpassed my best expectations by making some difficult decisions together with dignity and respect for everyone involved. Dad would have been very proud!
Perhaps my interest and skills in developing and maintaining relationships came from Dad; we were somewhat astounded as more than 200 people showed up for his memorial service. Dad had obviously made a positive impact on a lot of people in his all-too-short life. All of Dad’s immediate family was together – including his 4 sisters and almost all of his nieces and nephews (there were others who would have come if they lived closer). People flew in from several locations across North America. It was truly moving.
I am most proud of my mom and siblings. We had some tough decisions to make and we were fully caring and supportive of each other through all of those. Each of us experienced wonderful concern and support from our many extended family and friends.
So, in loving memory of my Dad:
“And when a man looks at a bird or feels the wind on his face, we should want him to tell us, if telling is his job, not only what he sees but how it affects him, in calm or in pleasantness or in ecstasy, so that we may nod in understanding and go about our business, however grim, with greater heart.”
- Neil Gunn, Highlands writer, Memories of the Months, 1941
Miss you, Dad!
The Third Dysfunction: Lack of Commitment
Happy New Year! I know its been a while since I’ve posted, and I wanted to acknowlege that this is my first communication to you this year! Wishing you a happy, healthy & prosperous 2009!
In this blog, I continue to comment on Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, which book outlines a model of teamwork for organizations, and discusses five typical ‘dysfunctions’ of a team which need to be addressed and solved in order for a team to successfully work its magic. The first dysfunction was Absence of Trust and the second dysfunction was Fear of Conflict, which I discussed in my previous post, Can your ‘Bad Boss’ Really Kill You? The Second Dysfunction of a Team.
The Third Dysfunction – Lack of Commitment – is the failure of team members to buy into a decision, i.e. committing to a plan or a decision, and failing to get everyone on the team to clearly buy into it. The evidence of the existence of this dysfunction is ambiguity.
Lencioni feels it is important to have discussions or debate (often passionate!) and therefore, possibly conflict when an idea or plan is tabled. When team members don’t speak up, express their opinions, or ask their questions, they don’t feel like they’ve been heard, and they won’t really come on board with the decision, although they may feign agreement in meetings.
I wonder how this might show up in your personal relationships?!
Lencioni is clear that its not about consensus. “…most reasonable people don’t have to get their way in a discussion. They just need to be heard, and to know that their input was considered and responded to.”
If the previous dysfunction, Fear of Conflict, is not addressed and handled, it will be virtually impossible for a team to get past Lack of Commitment. If team members are afraid to air their views, they will rarely buy in and commit to decisions. Members of a truly cohesive team will trust one another, engage in unfiltered conflict (healthy debate) around ideas, and commit to decisions and plans of action that are good for the team or organization as a whole.
For the team assessment (mentioned in my first post about the book), score your team - on a scale of 1 to 3 (1=Rarely, 2=Sometimes, 3=Usually) – on the following statements relating to the dysfunction of Lack of Commitment:
1. Team members know what their peers are working on and how they contribute to the collective good of the team.
2. Team members leave meetings confident that their peers are completely committed to the decisions that were agreed on, even if there was initial disagreement.
3. Team members end discussions with clear and specific resolutions and calls to action.
What’s your total score? The scoring system is described in my previous post regarding Absence of Trust.
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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your business partnership or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a complimentary sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
Can your ‘Bad Boss’ Really Kill You? The Second Dysfunction of a Team
An article in our national paper today (The Globe and Mail, November 25, 2008) entitled “Are bad bosses killing you?” states that, in addition to being annoying, bad bosses “may also boost the chance of heart attacks.” According to the article, a Swedish study of male workers published in the Occupational and Environmental Medicine journal (released November 24, 2008), found that having an incompetent manager may increase the risk of developing heart disease by 50 percent. And there’s more: The study found that the risk of heart-disease grows the longer a worker stays with the same company.
Just what makes a ‘bad boss’? We all have our own version, I’m sure – there are bosses who are inconsiderate, who bully, who show no acknowledgement of, or appreciation for, the time and energy that we put into our jobs, or who can’t or won’t clearly define how our efforts contribute to the team or to the company as a whole. The end result is stress for the employee, which can lead to a whole range of ailments, including heart disease. In this economy, if employees don’t feel supported by an HR team, they may feel stuck and unable to make the choice to leave their job.
I’m even more strongly struck by the model in Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, which clearly sets out strategies for a ‘good boss’. The book outlines a model of teamwork for organizations, and discusses five typical ‘dysfunctions’ of a team which need to be addressed and solved in order for a team to successfully work its magic.
The first dysfunction was Absence of Trust, which I touched on in my previous post The Power of “Team” in Business – The First Dysfunction. The second dysfunction is Fear of Conflict. Interestingly, this exact issue came up in a discussion I had over lunch just yesterday with a colleague. Something had happened in a meeting and the manager, who is clearly uncomfortable with conflict, was unable to address the issue right away. This resulted in ongoing upset for her direct report. Teams that lack trust are unwilling to engage in unfiltered and passionate (and healthy!) debates of ideas and instead, resort to veiled discussions and guarded comments, creating an air of artificial harmony.
How does your team handle conflict or disagreement among the members?
What structure, information and support is in place to help your team members or employees deal with conflict and the resulting stress?
For the team assessment (first mentioned in my previous post), score your team - on a scale of 1 to 3 (1=Rarely, 2=Sometimes, 3=Usually) – on the following statements relating to the dysfunction of Fear of Conflict:
1. Team members are passionate and unguarded in their discussion of issues.
2. Team meetings are compelling, and not boring.
3. During team meetings, the most important – and difficult – issues are put on the table to be resolved.
What’s your total score?
The scoring system works like this:
A score of 8 or 9 is a probable indication that the dysfunction is not a problem for your team.
A score of 6 or 7 indicates that the dysfunction could be a problem.
A score of 3 to 5 is probably an indication that the dysfunction needs to be addressed.
Even if your team’s score is a 9, its important to remember that every team needs constant work; without it, even the best teams may deviate toward dysfunction.
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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your business partnership or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a complimentary sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
The Power of “Team” in Business – The First Dysfunction
As I begin to position my coaching practice more into the business world, I am considering what message I really want to get across to the teams that I work with.
How many companies really embrace the notion of teamwork over individual performance? I believe that a team of individuals who work well together can outperform the effort of the collective group of individuals - that is, the synergy of teamwork creates even better results than the collection of individuals possibly could.
I’m currently reading The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni, which outlines a model of teamwork for organizations. Business teams would be well served to take a look at how they function (as a team) in the following areas:
- Do the team members trust each other?
- How does the team handle conflict or disagreement among the members?
- Has the team created goals for the team as a whole, and how committed is each member to common team goals?
- How accountable is each team member to achieving the common team goals?
- How much attention does the team pay to the overall results of the team as a whole?
I thought I’d look at each ‘dysfunction’ in a separate post; the first is Absence of Trust. The book provides a simple team assessment - on a scale of 1 to 3 (1=Rarely, 2=Sometimes, 3=Usually), how would you score your team on the following statements?
1. Team members quickly and genuinely apologize to one another when they say or do something inappropriate or possibly damaging to the team.
2. Team members openly admit their weaknesses and mistakes.
3. Team members know about one another’s personal lives and are comfortable discussing them.
What’s your total score?
I’ll come back to discuss each of the dysfunctions further, and let you know what the scoring system says about your scores. Gives you something to think about in the meantime!
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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your business partnership or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a complimentary sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
Wake Up Women Photo Contest
LIVE IT! LOVE IT! BE IT!
The publishers of the bestselling book series, Wake Up Women, are having a contest to win a chapter in the next book. To enter, simply post a photo and/or essay of yourself personifying your favorite personality trait.
The winner will win a chapter in the next Wake Up Women book: BE Happier, Healthier & Wealthier, and the two runners-up will receive Wake Up Women gift bags valued at $200.00 each.
Go to: http://www.wuwbestseller.com/contest to enter (and you can vote on your favourite entry as well!)
The deadline to enter is November 30, 2008
The contest is open to US and Canadian residents
HAVE FUN!!
Gratitude
Today is Thanksgiving Day in Canada. Even in this turbulent economic time, I feel that I have a great deal to be thankful for.
As I have read the news over the past few weeks (albeit sporadically – it’s not something I do every day), I am grateful that I am Canadian. The Canadian economy is experiencing a downturn, along with the rest of the world - but we are not being as severely affected as our American neighbors. Canadians also have a federal election tomorrow – but our issues, although important to us, do not seem to be quite as divisive as what our American neighbors are facing. So, being a Canadian is a good thing!
Something that caught my eye in the newspaper this weekend was a special section on “Gratitude.” There were ideas on strategies for expressing gratitude - keeping a gratitude journal, regularly contemplating the things we are grateful for, trying a mix of methods, and even expressing gratitude directly (imagine!) to someone to whom we owe a debt of gratitude. (The ideas specifically described in the article come from The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Wantby Sonja Lyubomirsky.) One article was a compilation of readers’ answers responses about what they were thankful for, and the following was particularly touching:
“I am thankful for the many scars on my body, my badges of honour from battling breast cancer twice in my 36 years of life. I am thankful for the taste of coffee, for hugging my boys and for freezing in a hockey arena – things I was once too weak to enjoy.” – Tina
October is the Canadian Cancer Society’s Breast Cancer Awareness month, and my sister recently completed the 60-km “Run for the Cure” in Toronto (she has a wonderful story of her own to tell). I am grateful that all of my family is healthy.
I am also grateful to have been able to celebrate Thanksgiving with much of my family this weekend, and to have had a lovely visit with my daughter and some close friends last weekend. I am grateful for the wonderful food (that I didn’t have to cook), especially turkey and pumpkin pie (and I am grateful that I snagged some leftovers of each!).
I am grateful for the fabulous weather we are having this weekend and some quiet time together with my husband.
There are innumerable things – large and small - to be grateful for. It doesn’t matter which you choose, it just matters that you DO choose to be grateful for what you have and that you acknowledge it.
If you don’t routinely express gratitude in your life – why not try it?! One of the articles I read cited research conducted by Sonja Lyubomirsky in which one group was told to keep a gratitude journal in which they regularly jotted down the things they were grateful for. Another group was told to write down daily hassles and annoyances. Not surprisingly, the result was that members of the first group were happier and more optimistic - AND - they spent more time exercising and reported feeling healthier!
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A Coaching Moment:
· What are you grateful for this season?
· How do you express your gratitude? – and is it often enough for you?
· If there is something that you would like more of, consider how expressing gratitude might increase your chances of getting more.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Warmly,
Jennifer
If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your spouse, partner(s) or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a free sample session.
Cruising the Pacific Coast Highway
I was very fortunate to have spent several days in California last week attending a networking/marketing conference held by Wake Up Live. I met a wonderful group of my Wake Up Women co-authors; we were all very happy to finally meet each other (after spending 12 weeks on weekly calls), we learned a lot about each other and enjoyed spending time together. I am really looking forward to a continued connection with this dynamic group of women!
An exciting development for our book is that the galley copies (which we got our hands on over the weekend!) will be in attendance at the Emmy Awards this week! Our publishers were taking them for promotional photographs with the actors attending the Emmies – can’t wait to see those pictures!
Cruising the Pacific Coast Highway
As an added bonus to the weekend, I rented a brand new Sebring convertible and spent a day cruising up the Pacific Coast Highway from Newport Beach to Santa Monica.
I had moments when I doubted my decision to do this on my own; parts of the highway were not the most scenic and I felt a little uncomfortable passing through some areas of some cities; I felt a little panicked when I found parking on Venice Beach to be VERY tight, and when I couldn’t figure out how to open the fuel cap while sitting at the gas pump (it was simple, really – but I couldn’t find it in the owner’s manual!!); then it was dark by the time I was driving around LAX to find the car rental return.
In the end, I did not regret my decision. I’m glad I took the risk and am convinced that it was a very fun way to round out my trip!
A Coaching Moment:
- what is something you would LOVE to do?
- what’s holding you back from doing it?
- what support can you create around moving forward on your dream – just one little step?
Warm in sunny California,
Jennifer
Listen on-line to the Conscious Life Radio Show – Today September 10th
Listen on-line today while one of my Wake Up Women co-authors, Christina South, and her co-host, Deborah Busch, interview me about The Power of Conscious and Intentional Relationships. I’ll talk about how raising your awareness about what’s really going on in your relationship and being intentional about how you’re being in your relationship can create powerful positive changes.
Click on the link (in column to the right) to Conscious Life Radio and tune in at 5:00pm Eastern. I’ll post the audio of the program once its available - I’d love to hear what you think! (There are several other great interviews there already – check them out!)
Warmly,
Jennifer
What I did on my summer vacation…
When Chris and the kids returned from the cottage, they had several more days with Chris’ aunt and his niece, visiting Wonderland, shopping, swimming, golfing – basic summer fun! Throughout that time, we had several houseguests, staying for varied periods of time, sometimes overlapping so some had to sleep on the floor.
While the boys went off for 2 weeks at Camp Muskoka, Chris, my step-daughter and I spent a weekend with MY family at a cousins’ cottage weekend in Muskoka. One of our favourite parts of the weekend was dressing up for dinner – all of us picking our favourite decade and dressing the part. Check us out!
Dressed for Dinner!
Two weeks later at the beginning of August, I started my vacation. Five of us traveled to New York and Pennsylvania for an annual family reunion; the kids always love this weekend because they enjoy the pool at the hotel so much! This year, the reunion was held at Midway State Park, where the kids spent a great deal of time in an arcade!
Once we returned home, Chris and I prepared for our big adventure to the Canadian North. My daughter, Sarah, lives with her partner (also Chris) in Yellowknife, Northwest Territories. For those of you who don’t know where that is, its fairly far north – the territory is north of Alberta – and Yellowknife is only about 300 miles south of the Artic Circle.
Chris and I decided to travel via Ottawa to Iqaluit (capital city of Canada’s newest territory, Nunavut) and Rankin Inlet to Yellowknife. When we arrived in Iqaluit, it was only 6 degrees (which is only a bit above freezing), but it was clear and sunny. Sea ice had blown into the bay during a storm a month earlier, but no storm had come through to blow it out again and Frobisher Bay is cold enough to keep the ice frozen.
When we arrived in Yellowknife later that same evening, it was about 25 degrees, and that weekend, Yellowknife was the warmest location in the country – 30 plus degrees!! Pretty extraordinary weather for that part of the country.
We had a great visit with Sarah and Chris (cherished time, since we only see them about 4 times a year) and met their two puppies. We spent time boating, swimming, checking out the city (another territory capital – but small by ‘big city’ standards – only 20,000 people), sleeping in, watching the Olympics, and eating different foods (buffalo, caribou, artic char). One of my favourites days was spent traveling a bit north of the city to Cameron Falls, which is a 20 minute trek up rocks to a lovely waterfall between Upper and Lower Cameron River. It was a gorgeous sunny day and we were out in nature – perfect!
All in all, Chris and I traveled through 6 airports on that trip. I had arranged a family brunch in Ottawa for the last day of our holiday. It was great to see more family that we hadn’t seen for quite a while (its been over a year since I’d seen most of them), as well as Sarah’s Chris’ parents. (Sarah & Chris have been together long enough for his parents to be considered her in-laws. Its a bit complicated, but we visited with my first husband’s family, Sarah’s in-laws, and my husband’s sister’s family… don’t try to figure it out!)
So, a successful and satisfying summer (not to mention busy!). The family theme continues even now – Chris is in Vancouver with his dad visiting aunts & an uncle, Sarah will be here for visit in 4 weeks, and then it will be Thanksgiving, which always means figuring out which family dinner is on which day!
Love it, and wouldn’t change a thing!!
- Visiting with Sarah in Yellowknife, NWT
A Coaching Moment:
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What do you cherish about your family?
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What one step could you take this week to re-connect with someone you haven’t seen or spoken with for a while?
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Are there holiday plans you want to start making now?
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If you are curious about what Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching can do for you and your family, partner(s) or team, feel free to send me an email at trilogy@pathcom.com to request a free sample session.
Warmly,
Jennifer
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